Just in case...

A great deal comes with the territory of having the name Justin. I introduce myself to people, and they feel the pressing need to immediately make a reference to a common phrase that incorporates my name. For example, "hey, you're Just In time" or "you're a good person to know Just In case." Why people feel the need to do this, I don't know. All I have to say about it though, is that its not original. To all those Just In phrasers out there, everyone can do what you're doing... many have before. Its not original, and is in fact the opposite.

Just had to put that out there.

I had a conversation earlier about the difference between courting and game. I think I developed a really good way of putting it. Comments are appreciated on this one.

See, as a male, I understand how naturally, it is almost built into our mentality, especially through images projected in the media and in society in general, for us to put ourselves above women. (Sorry if this is sounding like a persuasive essay, that happens from time to time). Courting goes against this, hence the reason why its probably not very common these days. See, the man must put the woman above him. Yes, we all have pride, but it must be put aside in order to be successful... meaning you might get hurt. This is because, you aren't truly yourself, unless you are exposed... otherwise you are protecting yourself from getting hurt. (Yup, a persuasive essay).

Anything else to me, the man putting himself on top, while it may be perceived as confidence, is just game. I don't like games, unless its Taboo, that one is cool. Now i'm not an expert on courting, or game, I'm just saying that, perhaps the only way to be different (this is for both men and women) is for men to stop spitting game like "hey shawty," and for women to stop responding to it. Yes, I found out the other day, saw first hand that some women actually do respond to it... much to my surprise.

On to other subjects, this DVR is actually driving me crazy. Yes, 10PM came around and there were three things I wanted to watch. This has NEVER been a problem before, but now of course since the DVR can only at most record two shows at a time, it was only a matter of time before I would want 3. Such is technology. No, I'm not a couch potato, I just look forward to 10PM, there's always something good on.

Last but not least, I'm trying to stay motivated like SQ. First meeting tomorrow night for the big idea. Nah, its not all that, just something that we're going to give a try. Best way to make it to the top of a company is to start there, even if right now the top is all the way at the bottom. Only one way to go...

~JL

Just Because...

Our lives get so full of routine sometimes. I once mentioned how experiences help us to grow... but that's difficult when everything is scheduled, or expected. Perhaps having friends is about having people willing to do things for you that are random and unexpected, just to break you out of your routines. I know for me, with or without contact from others, my routines won't change much... but this leads me to the movie Crash, where they say, "Maybe we crash into each other just so we can feel something."

A friend of mine once spoke of... if you look at life as a path, different lives at times intersect (when people crash into each other), and at times paths are shared (friendships), and may eventually deviate. Its a very good way of looking at how people in your life come and go, even if I didn't explain it as well as she did.

Well, knowing that there are special people in life, and that perhaps for now, paths may coincide, there is no better time than the present to make as much of an impact as possible. That way, even when/if paths deviate, at least both have influenced the direction/future of the other.

So why not do things just because? Make someone feel special, especially if they have for you before. See, recently, the same friend gave me a hug in the hallway, and said "I just needed a hug." Well, being the person I am, and with the free time I have, I think a little too much... and I realized, hmmmm, I needed a hug too. When you think about it, you never know how much of an impact you have on someone at any specific time.

With the routine that comes with life, sometimes, there is nothing better than a "just because." I hope you realize and enjoy yours when they happen... its likely because you are appreciated.

Just Thankful

Well, I'm glad I wrote this at the end of the day instead of late last night. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, and sometimes it takes Thanksgiving itself to fully realize it.

I'm thankful for...

A supportive family that does family things, like play board games after dinner and damn near go to war.

An abundance of food. I have to remind myself that I receive it so easily, while there are those who simply do not have a bite to eat.

A wise father whose methods I'll never understand, but will hopefully employ. Story - during high school he said, "Justin, u know where the liquor cabinet is... its always open to you." I heard him, but never took advantage. Being from the Caribbean, my parents didn't care as much when it came to drinks, but even still, since it was always open/available to me, I never had those urges to experiment.

A mother who always knows best.

An aunt who is a second mother.

A brother and best friend.

A sister and best friend. (She has 3 best friends, so I can have 2).

Supportive and grounded friends whom I know are only a call away. I may not keep in touch as much as I should, but my circle is tight, and the people are tighter.

My situation. I've come a long way to get here... and I've learned a lot from being unemployed. I know that most people can't afford to be unemployed, but I look around and see that I'm able to pull it off... and wait for the right thing to come along. That's a blessing.

God. Dizzy's blog said, "If I had the power of God, I would change my situation. But if I had the wisdom of God, I wouldn't." I believe everything happens for a reason, so I know any situation, good or bad, is one I am supposed to learn and grow from. That keeps me going. Whether its women, jobs, or whatever else life throws at me.

People interested enough to continue reading this. I told someone recently how I feel like this keeps me sane. It lets me be personal, since I'm not as personal in person, at least not very often. I hope readers have come to learn more about me through this, just as I have about those whose blogs I've read.

Life in general. People wonder why we're here. I'm not going to get too deep, but my feelings on that subject... maybe its to try and leave the world a little better than it was when you got here. Whether its through your own work, or through a child, or children. Life is meant to be felt. All types of emotions, good or bad, that's what its all about. Without emotion, there would be no drive to do any good.

Health. I'm fully functional. I watch Charlie Rose sometimes (he has some really good people on sometimes)... and often enough, he asks about a recent battle with a particular health problem. These are rich and successful people he interviews. Lesson learned, if you don't have your health, you can't enjoy the success, money, or those important to you. Live well.

My bed, or having a warm one to go to. I know a lot of people are going to be cold tonight... I'm truly blessed, but its a responsibility of all of us not to forget those less fortunate than we are. Well, I closed with that one for a reason. Good night.

~JL

Just A Tribute / Attributes

I had trouble figuring out what to write about tonight. Sometimes I take this too seriously. I was talking to a friend on IM about how I am recently not satisfied with what I write... this came out:

"Its just that some things are on my mind, and I'm not sure what I should share. I know theres not much thought behind it, but I've had some entries that I'm really proud of, and some just dont compare."

To which she replied, "u should post that, it rhymes."

On top of that, she even wrote an entry about how I shouldn't care anyway. Well, she made her point. So I'm just going to type away.

Tonight I want to write a tribute to perfection. No one in particular, just qualities I've seen in women that make me realize what a good woman is, and that inspire me to be the best man I can be.

Of course, I've said that no one is perfect, but I can only hope that there is a perfect person out there for everyone. For me, physical attractiveness is important, but its not everything. As important, if not more important, are self-confidence, and motivation. Basically, there needs to be some drive in life, even if that drive is to find out what drives you. Because from what I know about myself, the beauty alone is not going to keep me satisfied. Or in other words, beauty for me has to encompass both personality and physique. I need someone that I can talk to easily, and that can laugh at my corny jokes. Someone that can support me with my endeavors, so that I can do the same for her. My parents, as far as income goes, have switched places at least 5 times. I find that pretty amazing, since I hear talk of a lot of men being insecure with a woman making more than him. BUT, for me, it all comes down to support. Its not about who makes more... since there should be drive. Either you are in a career striving to make more, or you are doing what you love and making whatever comes with it, i.e. teaching. Either way, that support from a significant other is very important... since I've seen it from my parents.

I have a cousin of mine who is one of my role models. She graduated MIT and went on to Berkeley for grad school. She lives in the A now with her husband, who recently completed his doctorate. So they're doing big things. One day, her husband was here visiting, and I'm not sure how this came up, but he said, "My wife had a big meeting the other day, where the CEO of IBM arrived in a helicopter. He got out and another person followed him with a briefcase and portfolio. This guy has his own personal assistant to carry numbers and information for him." Then he proceeded to say... "I'm proud of my wife, she can make all the money... I just want to be next to her to hold her portfolio."

I hope I did the story justice, but it stood out in my mind as far as support goes, especially since it was coming from a man. I was younger at the time, but I'm glad I heard that, because it stayed with me, and today I feel the same way.

~JL

Just Came Around

I pulled a lot of personal significance from the conference this weekend. 4 years ago, at that location, I saw for the first time what NSBE was all about. I was reminded that it was also TA's and SQ's first conference. It turns out, that Dr. Moore, the speaker during the banquet, also spoke at the same conference in 2001, and he told a story that I specifically remember from before. If that wasn't enough, there was the same number of people from my chapter as were there when we went my first time.

As for the significance, well, I guess that hotel/conference coincides with transition points in my life. The first time was the beginning of college and my introduction to NSBE, and here I am 4 year later, helping to run the conference... to do the same for students who are now where I was 4 years ago.

It really seemed to complete a circle for me that I had not realized I was in. I needed those visual clues, and some feelings of deja vu to fully understand what was going on.

Here I am now, getting over my withdrawl symptoms from the conference... on the way home I thought every young black person I saw was in NSBE, just like how it was at the hotel. That always happens. My DVR held down the show schedule while I was gone... I'm watching Tale Spin right now. Definitely my favorite cartoon. Lets me be a kid again, back then I wanted to be a pilot... don't have time to watch everyday, but its like a mini vacation.

~JL

Just Me

I'm at a conference and I've just seen a guy hand out resumes to girls with the objective, "To obtain a position in Husbandry, Boyfriendry, or Male Special Friend Studies." CLASSIC. Most laughing I've done in a while. Leave it to a NSBE cat to come with a resume like that and pass it to the ladies. Its hilarious, but he clearly has too much time on his hands... its more detailed than my real resume.

It seriously had the whole room dying, and he's still going around passing out more. I wish him the best... but after he left, the concensus was... I hope his real resume looks this good/I hope he spent as much time on his real resume.

Would I have done it? nah. I'm not trying to show off... I'm just trying to be real, whatever that means. See, Chris Rock said, "We do all these things to show off, and get someone, and then later on, when the real you comes out, things go south." Those weren't the exact words, but the point is, I'd rather be real/myself from the start. Doesn't waste anyone's time. Its much easier to just be you than it is to act for weeks, months, or even years.

So, it took a while to be able to say this, because it wasn't always the case. I can honestly say that if you meet me tomorrow... it will be the real me. No showing off, no leading anyone on. That's my resume, cause that's all I can promise. Can't promise compatability, or a promising future, because I just don't know. All I can do is hope for the best, and hope that "Me" is the best "Me" possible.

Just Interested

So I'm driving around tonight, and nearby, on a quiet street, I saw a crashed Jeep next to a tree. The front was smashed, and the back door was left open... so the interior light was on. There was no one inside the jeep, and no emergency vehicles around. So I call the police, because I don't know what happened... they said the police are in the area, and they are looking for the person who was in the car. Again, not one vehicle around. So I left... last thing I need is some crazy injured person trying to take my car.

Interest, passion and motivation... somewhat related, yet very separate things. I feel like a passion is along the lines of what you were meant to do. Somewhat philosophical, but its what I think. Its the one thing that corresponds to you so well, and that you do so well, that it must be what you are supposed to do. Thing is, it comes down to exposure. Like I said a little while back, how can a child grow up to be the world's best astrophysicist if he or she never went to a planetarium, or had a similar stimulating experience? As far as knowing your passion, or what you were meant to do, or what drives you... I'd say most people don't. While there are things that interest or motivate us, passions are found through experiences... because experiences help you learn more about yourself, how you look at the world, and ultimately where you fit in the big scheme of things.

Toward the end of high school, I was feeling very stressed, and the reason I identified was odd. We were learning about mechanical drawings, and had to learn the correct notations for tolerances etc... I felt overwhelmed. Things as tiny as screws had such strict guidelines for being developed. One can only imagine what a jet engine must be like. I felt like the world is so big and full of detail, that I couldn't possibly affect it in any major way. Then I was reminded that, "people believe that small groups of people can't change the world, when those are the only people that ever had." Can't remember who that quote is from... but very true.

I wish I knew my passion, I can honestly only say I know what I'm motivated to do, and I doubt they coincide. I hope my passion deals with somehow positively affecting the lives of others, which I don't see happening if I'm in a cubicle somewhere. I may still end up there, but again its because passions aren't found overnight.

My mom did data security and consulting for investment banks for at least 15 years. In the past 3 years, she became a teacher, and now teaches 3rd grade math. The work she was doing wouldn't be remembered... and investment banks have a way of paying you enough so that you don't complain that what you are doing for them is either boring, meaningless, redundant, or unnecessary. (I had an internship there a few summers ago.) Not knocking them, that's where all the technology is... its just that what you do isn't "important" in the big scheme of things. I'm glad my mom found her passion, even if it was 15-20 years later.

I think what limits us sometimes is what people think, or caring about what people will think. I'm jobless, and I don't care what anybody thinls... I would personally like something right now, but I can't change how companies think... so I roll with the punches. If I didn't, I'd be crazy stressed right now, and the last thing on my mind would be doing something I want to do... I would be focused on doing anything. I read a friend's profile earlier. I don't know who said this quote, but it said, "do what you feel and say what you mean, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

Once you get a group of friends/family who you know are behind you, it makes things a lot easier. Its even better when a significant other is there to support you... just have to find mine :-)

~JL

Just Invisible

I'm switiching cell phone carriers, and even though I told them not to, they ported my number before I received my new phone. Meaning I have no cell phone right now and no idea when the new phone is coming. I wish I didn't depend on tech so much. I feel like I don't exist without that phone sometimes. I have no idea who is trying to, or tried to contact me, and I can't get in touch with people as easily. Another example, my DVR stopped working yesterday. I've had it all of four days, and I feel like I'm lost without it. In those four days, its been so entertaining... I didn't have to worry about missing anything. But now, back to how things were. Its getting fixed tomorrow though, so I'm just going to keep occupied (like I should be) until my phone and DVR are back.

No better time than now to work on those business ideas... while TV and phones can't distract me. No excuse not to be focused now.

As for this anonymous guy I was talking about. Its not me. I can't even give reasons as to why its not me... because he's anonymous. It could be anybody, or like my previous post said, it could be nobody. ~ for Dizzy

My approach would have involved flowers, and a night out. Maybe its old fashioned, but nothing gets the message across better than flowers (correct me if I'm wrong). AND, its about getting to know the person, so if you can't guarantee the one on one time, then why say anything at all?

Just In Hiding

Now I'm not attacking the approach. Its received so much attention (seemingly) that it may be somewhat effective... but I will speak on the flaws, because its not something I could ever see myself doing. A little while back, I spoke about how a symbol is the closest we will get to perfection... this is evident in how people behind companies strive to keep the company image as clean as possible. Look at Disney World... it is always majestic, yet people slave to keep it that way. Its just not reality. In reality, no one is perfect. But recently, I have seen an "anonymous" person build up an image of perfection... yet it can only be applied to the name "anonymous." What is the point of that? If this person is so perfect, it would only seem logical to use a real name. Perhaps the real name isn't used because the person isn't perfect, like they come off as being. (To clarify, perfect in relation to relationships/how to treat a woman). The flaw is, that it is easier to make "anonymous" aka "no one" perfect, since no one can be perfect. Seems to me that if the person was so perfect, a real name would be used. You can strive to be the best you can, as I do, but I'll admit I'm not without mistakes. I've kept a clean record, meaning I doubt you will find a woman who will speak ill of me. That's because I'm not into wasting anyone's time, and I know what I'm looking for.

What I am saying is, anonymity, or the use of it, fuels the alter-ego. I'd love to be anonymous, but I'd rather strive to have my name represent everything I would have my "anonymous self" represent. And, I don't feel like hiding all the time.

Sorry if none of this made sense... just some things that came across my mind while reading tonight.

~JL

Just Tolerant

At first I thought facebook conveniently forgot to tell me about making photo albums, until I realized that they must have just added that function for my school earlier today. Yet another way for me to waste time. The only reason I look at profiles is to see if pictures have changed... now more pictures??? Almost like no one wants me to get anything done. (Just so you know - there is a TERRIBLE picture of me floating around facebook from my birthday party back in August... I wasn't even tipsy yet, just decided to get real close to the camera... you've been warned.)

My cousin's single came out yesterday. It took a while to get it, coming from England and all, but its on repeat over here of course. Corinne Bailey-Rae - remember that name. I'm going to advertise her like crazy, even if they aren't ready for her to come over here yet.

I have a little cousin (8 yrs old) visiting from Bermuda. She's so energetic... and for some reason, I'm the ONLY one that can play games with her. Not my 12 year old sister, or my 17 year old brother. My family claims I have this effect on young girls... its not funny, but it is true. If only they were my age, and not related... I'd be fine ;-). But tonight, after playing 4 games of Uno, I was tired (I know thats not much, but I ran after her for a little while too). But of course she wasnt't tired, so I had to endure her following me around, and jumping on me, grabbing my arm, constantly talking etc. I have tolerance problems sometimes, but I've been getting much better. But tonight I definitely feel I was being tested. But its alright. I'm sure I was the same way, and if my older cousins weren't very tolerant, they at least didn't let me know about it. I guess its about time the tables turned.

I ordered cable for my room and it should be coming sometime tomorrow. I find it funny how for all large companies, if you want to talk to tech support, you're going to wait 10 minutes +. But, if you need to talk to a sales rep, you wait time is less than 30 seconds. So, I usually select the sales department, have them tell me I connected to the wrong spot, and wait for them to redirect my call. Sometimes that is a lot faster than waiting to go through the automated menus and such. Now you know. See if it works and let me know... you'd need to leave a comment to do that.

Now another note on tolerance. I can't tolerate people reading and not leaving comments. Thanks SQ for being a pioneer. As for everyone else. Let me know how I'm doing. Or at least sign your name or something.

~JL

Just Turn Yourself In

I watched CSI tonight. Lesson learned... if you even begin to think about committing a serious crime, you might as well go straight to the police station and turn yourself in. It saves you time, it saves the system money, and it may save a life.

I went to some open houses in the area yesterday... and one of the realtors invited me to go to career day at the High School. I agreed, because I want to reach out to teenagers and answer any questions they may have. Its the same high school my brother goes to... so I let him know that I'd be at career day. He said, "Justin, they're going to tear you apart... you don't have a career... don't you remember what happened to Carlton on the Fresh Prince?" Well for anyone that remembers that episode, he had a point... but the point of me going to career day is more than just talking about a career or a potential career... its about talking about Engineering in general, from the perspective of someone who has completed the degree. I went into college not really knowing what engineering is all about, and I suspect a lot of people do. Maybe I can help clarify things for them.

I was at a client tonight doing some tech support for them. Now, I'm good, but this problem came down to one of Dell's products. I normally don't mention names, but I'm calling them out. The last thing I wanted to do was call them, because I know where I'd get connected... and my level of proficiency is higher than the people I'd get connected to, so thank you Dell for wasting my time, and my client's money.

My take on outsourcing... most things work like a sine wave (engineering talk). Yes, for now its cheaper to outsource, but eventually the companies outsourcing their work, like Dell in this case, will require an addition to their service that the company overseas will either not have, or will charge too much for. I can't think of an example, but eventually the time will come where it is cheaper to do things in house than to outsource the work. Another reason outsourcing won't last... people like me are tired of being connected overseas. I'd rather deal with a company that I know has the support I require... and won't ship my call off to another country because they'd rather not pay to deal with it here. That's not customer service.

~JL

Just Appreciative

Most of what my brother and I say to each other comes from something funny we heard on TV. The rest of the time we're original, but we are the only ones that understand our humor. My brother and I think alike, so when situations occur, it would remind us of a particular story. Sometimes, he would start telling me a story he already told me and I would say, "You already told me that, why don't you go get kidnapped and have some new stuff happen to you?" - Chris Rock said that one. Anyway, I haven't blogged in a while, because I guess I had to live a little before I wrote some more. I'd like to write every night, but I'm trying to keep it interesting.

Today I went to go see the Lion King. It was a wonderful performance. It made me realize that there are a lot of talented people out there. Sometimes we get really caught up in what we do, and we don't fully appreciate or realize the work and lives of other people. Like the people I saw tonight, who live to dance, sing and tell stories. They've made it their craft and do it extremely well. I appreciate it so much more because I know it is something I cannot do as far as my passion and training goes... but it is something I enjoy and will support.

What about engineers, teachers, historians, or accountants? Every career is necessary regardless of what people may think or say about them. I can't stand History personally, but I understand its worth, and I had a very good history teacher once, so at least I took general lessons from it as opposed to dates and events. For example, this teacher in particular never let us use a textbook because it usually only gives one side of a story, and if its American History, you'd see where I'm coming from. He made us go and get various credible online sources and piece the stories together ourselves, or for ourselves, so that we can talk about it critically instead of from memory.

The point I'm trying to make is that if you have an opportunity to broaden your horizons, take it. The Lion King is entertainment, but I'm talking about travel, volunteer work, public speaking, anything that can give you an experience you're not used to, that way it can help you understand things or people you have not been exposed to. I'm not a kid anymore, but I'm sure going to see a show like the Lion King at a young age may have stimulated me to take a different route. So lets extend this... how are we going to expose children to all these different experiences? Especially those who do not have the opportunities to go? I always wonder in the back of my mind... that child may grow up to be one of the best astrophysicists ever, but no one ever took her to the planetarium... so she ends up in a dead end job, never fully realizing what it is she wants to do. It seems extreme, but its not. I became an Electrical Engineer ultimately because I attended my cousin's graduation from MIT, where I first found out what an engineer is. I have a friend who became a Mechanical Engineer ultimately because of her experience on a roller coaster. Yes, we have to get the children early, when their minds are receptive, and when an interest can develop into a passion.

Just Progress

I started writing my business plan today. I've been struggling trying to develop an appropriate solution to exactly what I want to do. It feels good that the plan is coming together. Yet, on the flip side, I had a phone interview today. Sometimes I'm superstitious, so before now, I would have never told anyone I had an interview, but I realize that nothing I do makes a difference as far as getting a job is concerned, so at this point I just think if I'm meant to get it, I'll get it. BUT I won't tell you who it was with or how I think it went... that's just asking for trouble.

I know what you're thinking... "Justin, you said you are starting a business, what's with the interview." Well, whether you are thinking that or not, I interviewed because this job in particular deals with a technology I'm really interested in. AND, as far as business goes, the skills I obtain there can help my business ideas. So things would be delayed, as far as when the business starts, but its somewhat in line with what I said many blogs ago - where ideally I have a job I do for fun, and a business that supports me as well.

That Toni Braxton album is Fire. 6 out of 10 good songs is unheard of. Of course that's just me, but its on repeat over here. I've always been a big fan.