Just On My Way Out

This is my last computer related task before my computer gets packed. It still hasn't really hit me yet. But the days are definitely getting longer... as it is now 1:30am and I'm watching some pre-recorded CSI as I try and finish things up. My packing is getting efficient but I've had to add two more boxes than I originally planned... luckily shipping costs are surprisingly cheap. FedEx Ground gets them there at under $30 per box. I think that is very reasonable, and they should arrive within 3 days.

The window FedEx gave me for pick-up is Tuesday between 12 and 5. I'll be taking care of washing and packing clothes during that time, since clothes are coming with me on the plane. I went shopping with my aunt tonight, and as we were looking at CDs in Borders, I remembered a song I heard on the radio recently. I'm a big Michael Jackson fan, as far as entertainment goes of course, but I have yet to listen to half of the songs he has made. The song I'm referring to, he always says, "Heartbreak hotel," but apparently its called "This Place Hotel." I finally found it, and acquired it, and I'm enjoying it right now. Maybe I'm just really late with hearing it, but I'm glad I finally discovered it.

Keeping on the subject of music, my dad is probably the biggest Bob Marley fan ever. He tells me stories of course, and he is a great story teller. Apparently, years ago when he was a teenager, he and my mom went to see a Bob Marley concert at a university in England. Now, my parents have come a very long way. They came here after just getting married and have done extremely well for themselves... I'm happy to try and take things to the next level, and thankful for the decisions they have made which ultimately provided me with the opportunities I had. That was a tangent, but it had to be said. Back in England, they were just students at a Bob Marley concert. My dad is an accountant and has a client that is friends with the designer of the new Tuff Gong Clothing line, which was started by one of Bob Marley's sons Rohan Marley. Over the summer, we were all invited to the private clothing line release party. All the brothers (Stephen, Ziggy, Damian and Rohan) were there and they performed for us. It was a great night. My dad said, "Justin, I must have done really well... the last time I saw a Marley perform I was standing on a crowded cafeteria table in England... and now I'm here at a private concert with his sons." Its amazing that that sort of contrast can be made within a lifetime. Its effectively one of the ways he can measure how he has elevated his status over the years. Its just something I thought was interesting... and I brought it up after all this time because he went to another private party the other night, and actually got to have a conversation with Rohan Marley. I can only imagine what that must have been like... to speak privately to the son of someone you respect and admire so much, who is actively (along with his brothers) continuing the legacy of their father. As Rohan said to my father, "We cannot disgrace him." As I get ready to leave, all I can say is, I won't either.

~JL

Don't know when my next entry will be, but it will be from Arkansas.

Just a Big Fish

Tonight we celebrated my mother's birthday at a favorite restaurant called Freshwater's. The food was great and I had my typical dish, except I added Whiting this time. My aunt is here from England and its just been laughs ever since she landed. Her boyfriend was here only weeks ago and a very funny situation happened one morning.

I woke up to a loud and terrible sound. I sat in bed somewhat in a daze trying to figure out what could be making that noise. It was shaking the entire house. I thought our guest had accidentally locked himself out of the bathroom, and was discretely trying to knock the door in. While unlikely, it was the ONLY solution I could come to. I got up, left the bedroom and saw the bathroom door wide open - it couldn't be what I thought. I walked down the hall to my brother's room to find him just getting out of bed for the same reason. The only solutions he could come to is that we were either under attack, or that it was the end of the world. Loud, continuous pounding that shakes the entire house, we had to find the source. We went downstairs and realized it was coming from the garage. Now, we didn't think it was anything dangerous, so this is when we went into 24 mode, we looked at each other and gave the appropriate hand signals. He would open the door and I would storm in with my finger guns. Well, my brother must have been more awake than I was, or more weary of the situation, because once he opened the door he took it a lot more seriously than I did (I didn't have my contacts or glasses on). He fell back and went behind me, and I still jokingly stormed in as I had planned. Our shocked guest was pounding the punching bag hanging in our garage... it hasn't been touched in years. When I saw it though, it was damn near horizontal from how hard he was hitting it. It all made sense at that point, but still, there was no way I could have guessed that was what the sound was. We all laughed at the situation, and the story made it back to England for my aunt and uncle to hear. We talked about it over dinner so I decided to share it in the blog. It probably isn't as funny on here, but I tried my best.

Today I received some great news. I mentioned earlier that I am flying to Arkansas and shipping my belongings instead of using a truck since I don't have that much stuff. I explained this to my company and I realized that for at least a few days, I would need to rent a car until I can get settled in enough to get one myself. I asked them if they could rent a car for me for a few days just to help me out. If they didn't I would have just picked up the cost myself. They got back to me today and apparently, since I am not using the moving truck, they decided to rent a car for me FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH. That is a blessing. Things could not have worked out any better. Had I drove down as originally planned, I would have still had the problem of not having a car, and I would have been stuck, and low on cash. This way worked out for the best, and what's funny is that I was against it at first, but mom was telling me to do it like this from the beginning (she hates the idea of a 24hr drive). Well, mother always knows best, and my fortunes since I changed the plan only serve as proof.

I did a lot of packing last night. Most of it had already been done, but I repacked so I could use less boxes, and thus save on shipping. I am learning all the FedEx pricing rules and trying to follow them as much as I can. Yesterday, I set up an account with them and for some reason, they charged my card without my knowledge. It made my account overdraft. I talked to them, and they apologized... apparently it is a standard procedure, but they definitely did not let me know they were going to do it. So I will be credited and if the bank does hit me with a fee, they will credit that too. That was some stress though... nothing worse than going online to find you have negative funds, and then having no idea why that is.

Other stress, well, the moving is stressful. It hasn't hit me yet, but I am excited. I think part of me feels like I'm not going anywhere, and everything else just happens in my imagination. But I think that's how I like it. I'm going to send my stuff FedEx, and on Thursday jump on my one-way direct flight to Life. I always tell people the best way to learn about New York is to get dropped off in the center of the city and figure it out. Well, that's how I look at this new situation. Instead of thinking too much about it, I'm going to get on the plane and learn/make decisions as they come. I'm going to do the best work I can and learn as much as possible about the technology I'll be working with (RFID). I am going to register for classes starting in the fall and work on a master's (possibly two). Arkansas will be a self-development journey, including better habits (eating/working out), more education, and work experience. I'll truly become a big fish, since the world is a lot bigger than the Big City I've grown so accustomed to. I haven't seen the movie "Big Fish" yet, but Dizzy gave a great explanation of its meaning a few weeks back. I'll gain new perspectives on life and people that New York simply cannot offer me, and I also believe it will be unique to go there with a NY state of mind.

Big day tomorrow.

~JL

just His plan

The party photos are on the facebook. If you want to see them, not only do you have to be on facebook, but you have to know me. Can't let just anybody see those... I don't even know everyone who reads this thing. There's nothing incriminating in them, but that's the point of facebook... if you're not my friend, why do you want to see my pictures?

I'm sure a lot more happened but nothing came to mind that I thought I should specifically talk about. It was just a good time. Today I did a lot of preparation for the move. I finalized everything with my apartment (I have my address now). I packed some more (only clothes are left, and this computer). I'm ready to book my flight... that's right, I decided to fly down and FedEx my stuff instead of renting a truck. I really don't have that much, and its pointless to get a truck I'm barely going to fill, and drive 24 hours... that's actually pretty dangerous. E said he could come with me, but I start on the 6th and my apartment is ready on the 2nd... if we stuck with the original plan, it wouldn't have worked out anyway. I'm rambling, but that is what's been going on. My parents are planning something for me this Saturday, and it turns out I have an English relative flying in later in the week, possibly just for me... well I can't say that, she hasn't been here in a while and there are other family members for her to see, but I can at least think its just for me.

The title today... well, I haven't been to church in two weeks, and sadly its because of my parties. My view on religion, and it leads into the story I have today, is that I've always seen it as a personal thing. I honestly believe it is one of the inherent rights of all people to believe what they want to believe, so I do not seek to impart my views on another, even if that is contrary to church teachings. So today is no different, but my title, "just His plan," comes from my belief that everything happens for a reason. We may not always get what we want, but perhaps we don't get what we want so that another better opportunity, object, or relationship can come along later... or perhaps its so that we can learn and grow from the situation, so that we can affect some change in the future. The story, well, its not much of a story, but I waited too long to let someone know how I felt, and I missed my chance. I was younger than I am now, I won't make that mistake twice, but while I feel like I missed the chance at having perfection (in my eyes), instead of kicking myself, I have to believe its for a reason. See, I don't know what that reason is... so for me, its not about knowing what the reason is, its about knowing that its not my plan that's important, its about His plan for me. I think the only reason I can say something like that is, looking back, I have had a very good life. I am very fortunate, and in the darkest of times (and I have been fortunate to not have had many) things just seemed to work out for the best... almost like they were supposed to work out that way. So this new chapter of my life that I'm about to begin, as drastic a change as it is, seems the easiest decision I have ever made. Even if it means nothing ever happens with perfection (in my eyes). I believe its all part of a larger plan, His plan, that I am a part of. I also believe that if perfection is in His plan for me, then the day will come, even if geography says its impossible now. More than a belief, this is a mentality. I have shared with everyone a big part of what makes me tick... and its not about what you believe, or whether I'm right or wrong, its just how I think. Sometimes we get caught up with developing our own plans and then wondering why they don't work out, or being upset when they don't work out. They say hindsight is 20/20 vision. Ever wonder why that is?

~JL

Just #2

I had party #2 last night. There is a lot to talk about but I'm sure I'm going to forget something. It's cool though. A good friend surprised me last night. She isn't a friend on my facebook, and I was terrible with making sure I called and invited everyone else, but she got the word anyway.

I was pretty gone last night. I had 3 drinks, and being the lightweight that I am, that was it. It was a lot of fun though, and I have to admit that the night went really well, even with the few issues we had in the beginning (having to change the venue because the manager I spoke to at one place claims he's never talked to me before, and all the things he told me about it being cool to have it there, and being able to let people under 21 in to sit at the restaurant wasn't true, because they were closing the restaurant for the night.) So we had to change venues last minute, and try and let as many people as possible know. I apologize if anyone went to the original place, we tried our best to get the word out. Then, at the new place, nto only could we not get anyone under 21 in just to eat, there was a cover charge after 10:00... luckily it was only $5 so people didn't think twice about it. The place was nice though... it was called The Den. It had great food, good music, and bottom line, it was a great time, surprisinlgy good considering we had to change locations like we did. The last party I had that was that good was my birthday, in Harlem, on a Monday night... I don't think there has been a better party on a Monday night before. Maybe its the people, maybe its Harlem, maybe its the "just do it" planner E, maybe its all three. We know the formula, but we won't brag about it, we'll just wait and see how the next one goes, maybe we'll make it a yearly thing.

After the party, don't ask me what time it was, but we took the subway over to a nice restaurant called Renaissance. That was some great food. It was there that I realized it was 5AM. We played "name that song" since they had a great mix CD of some 90s songs. Songs that take me to specific times and places in high school etc. Once we were done eating, I decided I should catch the train home, so I could at least sleep in my own bed, and be home for my aunt's birthday today. Happy Birthday Aunt J.

Thank you to everyone that came out, and sorry to those who couldn't make it because of the last minute problems we had. I'm sure there is more to talk about that I forgot, so I will most likely get them in as I think about them. I will post them up tomorrow.

Just Desensitized

I watched American Idol tonight, something i defintely didn't think I would do, but I have to admit, its entertaining. My dad likes to watch it, and my sister was watching it with him, so I decided its good to get some more quality family time in before I leave, if you want to call that quality. This won't be a weekly show for me, but the black twins are killing it. 2 sets of black twins did an absolutely amazing job... why? because they understand the importance of harmonizing. To an extent, its unfair, because someone coming in alone cannot harmonize on their own, but it was a great audition.

I also watched 24 last night, and that will be a weekly show for me. If you think about it, its a 24 hour movie, and its done extremely well. The downside is that the thrill of the show comes from them playing on our fears, and basically showing terrorism in our backyard when that is the last place we really want it to be. Its done in a way that mixes a movie with reality, and astonishingly enough, most people said on 9/11 that they felt like they were watching a movie. My mom said something very insightful, I can't remember if I said it here before, but it was about when Bush launched the Shock and Awe campaign in Iraq, and they bombed it for the first time. It was televised on all the major networks live. Mom said, "No one wants a war in their backyard, yet they bring it into my living room." Just something to think about. Are we conditioned to enjoy that which we fear? Are we so desensitized that we can watch the deaths of real people before our eyes on television, such as in Iraq, because "it's like a movie"?

Today, Michael Basement was talking about spouses not wearing their wedding bands (at least the part of the show I heard). I think, and this goes along with what dizzy said, the grass is always greener on the other side. That's why its best to always identify the pros of your situation and enjoy them while they last... because its so easy to focus on the negative things. My major pro - not being in a relationship meant I could relocate for an opportunity that is a great start to my career... otherwise the decision would have been much more difficult. I believe everything happens for a reason.

We had some cousins come up for the weekend from Virginia. My 5 year old cousin is a math genius... he just loves numbers. All I want to do is test him when he's here, but I have to let him be 5 years old. But I will say this, he can double numbers into the millions... that means 2^x, or 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, etc... He does it all in his head. When he passed a million, he didn't know what a million was (it was the first time he went so high), so he said in a very inquisitive tone, "a thousand thousand???" which seems logical if up until that point you said five-hundred thousand. He must have a photographic memory (as his mom suggested). He can see the numbers and do the addition in his head. He loves anything with numbers, so for Christmas he asked for an ATM (he likes how the numbers you put in translate to money that comes out). Guess what, he got one... not sure from where but apparently it came with a bank card, and he can use the machine to check his balance. I thought that was funny.

Another beautiful woman I don't think gets enough mention - Vivian Green. I think I liked her better before the long hair though.


~JL

Just Been Thinking

I know its been a while, but the entire moving process has been a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. I haven't started packing yet, but I don't have that much to take with me... I definitely need to pick up some boxes and containers. The main thing has been furniture. I am going to buy most of my essential furniture here and take it with me to Arkansas (since there is no nearby Ikea down there). BUT, what I'm upset about is that I found sofa for my living room, in a color I really like, but Macy's furniture sells it, and they won't deliver to Arkansas. Period. Its too soon for me to get it here and take it, because I have to watch how much I spend. I would have to order it, have it delivered to my parent's house, then have UPS pick it up and deliver it to me in Arkansas - that's just too much extra money. Hopefully I find something comparable down there, because I looked at 5 furniture places and I only found one sofa I liked at the last place I went to... maybe I'm too picky? But I figure for that kind of money I should really get what I want.

I had going away party #1 last night. I know it seems excessive, but its a matter of the people, and convenience, and I worked it out so that it won't cost too much to throw them. Last night was for all my high school and New Jersey people, and it was a lot of fun. I'm glad everyone came out in the terrible weather... for some reason the temperature plummeted, and it started to snow. My family stayed (and we had relatives over) so it was interesting having a bunch of people playing beer pong in the kitchen. Luckily the house is just big enough that it somewhat allows for different environments. Its really long so my family and my friends were on opposite sides of the house. Its a split level so we were on different levels as well.

The other parties - next Saturday is a lounge in Harlem for college and New York people, and the week after my parents are having one for me for family and close family friends. In the meantime, I have to get packing. I've been contemplating which car I should get down there. Its so funny how I go to dealers here just to look, and they insist I lease a car up here. That doesn't make any sense. Why would I lease a car here and then add 1000 miles driving it to Arkansas. I think I decided on the Honda Accord Coupe. These are the coupe years. Down the line when a family comes along, a coupe is just impractical, so I'm going to live it up while I can. That's it for now, I'm off to go get some boxes.

~JL

Just Missed Another One

Today my family and I went to see the Lion King. This was my second time going. I think I enjoyed it more the first time, but being there with the entire family was an experience in itself. It was a Christmas gift from my aunt, and it means more to me now that I know I won't have the luxury of spending the amount of time with my family that i have grown used to over the past months since graduation. Soon it will be a major shift.

We took the train into NY and then walked 8 blocks to 42nd street. On the way we stopped at Gray's Papaya, and while not the most attractive looking place, the entire family was done eating within 10 minutes, and we each had 2 hot dogs and a drink, all for under $20 (more like $14). Everyone left satisfied, and of course I was happy I suggested it, because it definitely beat sitting down at Applebees or somewhere similar and paying $20 per person. Its so easy to go into New York to see a tourist attraction like the Lion King, an dthen do tourist things like eat expensive meals. I think I made the evening a nice mix of tourist activities, and NY smarts (as I like to put it).

I had a conference call at 9:00 tonight. I thought it was at 10:00, but I set my alarm for 8:30, and I knew my alarm must be correct. Problem is, I was still in the Lion King until 9;15, and I felt terrible because somehow I've managed to miss every conference call to date, most were for legitimate reasons, but I definitely didn't want to miss this one. So I took steps not to. Couldn't help that I was in a theater watching the end of a show. Then as soon as I got out, I called someone for the call info, copied it down... and as soon as I dialed in, it said the room was empty. I hung up, checked my messages, and it turns out that the meeting adjourned right before I dialed into the room... another conference call missed.

I've been trying to pick out my furniture for my new place. I'm most likely going to stick with Ikea since I'm just starting out, its cheap, and the quality is a lot better than it used to be. I know what I want for my bedroom, and most of my living room, but I dont know the colors. Decisions, decisions. I know what looks good, and if my living area doesn't look good, then I don't feel good. Problem is, I can't visualize the final result as well. So decisions for me, are more crucial, since the last thing I want is to make the wrong one... and there are no nearby Ikea's in Arkansas - so no returning. Whatever I buy up here is what i'm keeping. I know this entry was all over the place, but its a snapshot of my mind.

Leave a comment if you know me, are in the area (NY/NJ), and want the details to the going away party.

~JL

Just Young Adults

I mentioned a little while ago how the same producers who did Mary J. Blige's new (and overplayed) single "Be With You," did Toni Braxton's first recent single "Trippin." Not only were these two tracks selected to be singles, they were produced to be. They most likely cost a little more to produce, because of their potential to do well. I've realized something very clear, maybe it was obvious, but I always wanted to believe it wasn't true.

Toni Braxton's song Trippin' is as good if not better than Mary J. Blige's. It is clear to me that the record companies are paying radio stations to play singles more. "Financial scandals and shady dealings are not new to the music industry: in July 2005 Sony BMG shelled out $10 million over payola accusations (paying radio stations to feature Sony BMG artists); in November 2005, Warner Music paid $5 million to settle similar payola accusations." So its not about the people, nor was it ever about the people, we are truly being fed the music. So of course Toni's album doesn't do nearly as well, even though it is a good album. I can't vouch for every track, but there are some that are in heavy rotation (on my system).

So the problem here, even with a name like Toni Braxton, a name that is guaranteed to sell, you are still at the mercy of your company. A company can make an album do well by spending more, but if they don't want to spend the money on you, you're just screwed. I talk about the business a lot because I want to see it changed. Maybe I'll work on it as a hobby. I don't need to make a lot of money from it, nor do I need to mingle with celebrities, I just want to see things work differently because I love good music... and I can't imagine how much good music is out there that I just don't know about.

Its funny, I was watching MTV Jams the other day and they had a roundtable discussion about the "state of hip-hop" with artists including Remy Ma, and David Banner. How can you talk about problems with hip-hop when the people you are talking to ARE the problems? I feel like the genre was stolen and turned into something terrible just so it could sell more. I know the artists have an image to maintain, but sometimes I really hope they are smarter than they come off as being. They really come off as sounding stupid, and I wish I could say I was saying that from a non-educated perspective, but I can't. I guess sounding stupid is how you reach the most people. I was once told that the news is deliberately geared to the mind of a 13 year old (not all news), so that more people can watch and understand it. Makes you wonder how much in society is tailored for uneducated participation. Believe me, the music out there has generated a lot of 13 year old adults... many of whom are the rappers we know so well, or so it seems. Brings new meaning to the term "young adult."

~JL

I just saw Kimberly Elise on TV. I'm going to start putting up pictures of beautiful women who I don't think get enough mention.

Just Need to Relax

My brother had a basketball game against Westfield today. I'm about ready to stop going to these games... they are too much to watch. First of all the refs are blind fools. One of them didn't call anything and relied on the other, and the other called things that were totally unnecessary, and usually biased against us. Case in point, not one foul was called on Westfield the entire 3rd quarter... that's just unheard of.

Anyway, the game starts and we cruise to an 11-0 lead. Everything seems great, by the half we were ahead by 20, but somehow, by the end of the 3rd quarter, we're only ahead by 5 (the same time the other team never had a foul called on them). 5 minutes left in the 4th quarter and the score is tied. Thankfully, we inched ahead in the last 30 seconds to beat them by 3. Its just nerve wrecking, and I think part of it comes from having to deal with my brother when he loses. He's much better now than he used to be (sometimes you can't tell he lost), but we're so used to how he used to act when he lost (just dismissive and upset) that it kinda rubbed off on us when the team loses. I'm no sore loser, if I lose I can handle it, but high school basketball, I can't stand watching our team lose. Besides my brother being on the team, I can't understand why that is.

My brother says its actually better to be behind in a game, and today was a perfect example. usually the team behind does make a comeback, and during that comeback they are motivated to do better. The team in the lead feels increased pressure everytime the lead is cut. Victory is a lot sweeter when you come back from a deficit.

I listened to none other than Glenn Lewis last night. That is a GREAT album. Again, where is he now? Did his record company do him wrong? Again, I'll attribute the great album to its production, (even though he is very talented), Andre Harris and Vidal Davis are amazing producers... and did just about every track on the album. Andre Harris did Butterflies for Michael Jackson (Floetry had it first though), and "I think its better" and "The Way" for Jill Scott. Vidal Davis did Jill Scott's "Gettin In the Way" and "Show Me."

my mind ---> Oh I think they like me... Oh I think they, Oh I Oh I...

~JL

Just Have A Good One

Happy New Year. My family spent the evening with very good family friends. As midnight struck, I had my drink, and within 30 seconds of the new year, one of the children came running through and knowked it all over me. My brother looked at me and shook his head and said, "Oh man, its going to be a terrible year for you." Because of course he sees it as a sign of things to come... well, I see it as meaning that things can only get better from there.

Here are my resolutions...

-I would like to be more consistent in the gym. I always go, get crazy sore, and stop.

-I need to pick 1 outdoor activity to do - in line with exercise. My new environment has tons of outdoor activities, so I'm probably going to bike.

-I need to spend responsibly. I'm in a great financial situation, BUT I need to be smart to keep it that way. My love of electronics could easily be my downfall.

-To keep occupied while in Arkansas, and to meet new people, I am going to take classes, and as I said yesterday, continue to work toward my master's. I might as well.

Can't think of anything else right now. My weekend was interesting. Today I went to church, than ran to catch a train to NY. I just made it, and once I got to Harlem, I met up with Cooper peeps (business meeting and going away party planning... stay tuned). As soon as I returned to NJ, I was convinced to go see King Kong at 9:15. The movie was good, but surprisingly long. I started to lose interest since it felt like it was dragging on. After that, I went to a diner with my brother and his girlfriend (I was the 3rd wheel, but its alright). Come to find out, neither of them had enough money. She thought she had $3, ordered $7 worth of food, then realized she had no money. My brother was supposed to be able to cover him and her anyway but didn't have enough either. So I had to come up with the difference... it wasn't much, but its the principle. It was 1:00AM, we didn't need to go eat... I would have came home and gone straight to bed... and if I wasn't there, they would have been in trouble.

While on the train today, I realized that I made a great purchase. Great purchases only come once in a while for me, and this product in particular has been so good to me. I used to be an iPod person. I had one for about 3 years. I was ready to upgrade and I went with Sony instead of Apple. This mp3 player is great. Take a look.

If the screen/design isn't impressive enough, along with a gig, it has a built in FM radio, and 50 hours of battery life!!! When you're in a rush, 3 minutes of charging gives you 3 hours of playback. Apple has the market, but Sony is trying their best to get back in. I think this is a good start.