Just Crashed

I watched Crash for the second time today, and it did a great job (again) at really stirring up feelings about people and how they think. The fact that everything in the movie COULD happen yet, what makes it a movie is that all the people and events are intertwined. It really has me thinking, what do I think about race and do I really take people for WHO they are.

A friend of mine said, J, I never see you approach people outside of your race. (This coming from a person that won't date within his race). I said, that's just my preference, just like you have your preferences. I continued to say that ultimately, I take everyone I meet for who they are. If I have a conversation with someone, no matter what the race, if they appeal to me, I will pursue them. So for me, it just comes down to who they are. Though, as far as approaching someone attractive, I will most likely choose someone within my race, since that is my preference. He replied, yes, but you only surround yourself with one group of people, how can you expect to meet any others? He had a point, but only to a certain extent. He was talking about my affiliations with the National Society of Black Engineers, and the Black Students Union at school. AND of course most of my closest friends from school are black as well, so I could see where he was coming from, but it doesn't make him right.

I can find people of any race attractive, but I will agree with him that I don't associate myself in as many different groups as I should, or at least like I used to. See, I went to a small high school. It was diverse enough, and about 20% Black, (only 2 black males though, me and 1 other - nice ratio ;-). But being in such a small school, everyone new each other, and there weren't cliques based on race, as is more apparent in college. So I guess he could see that change in me, from associating with everyone, to "cliquing" with my own. I don't think I changed though, at least not to the extent he thinks I did, it was mostly just a change of environment that forced me to associate with my own.

Here is a story. Last summer (04) in England, at my cousin's b-day party, I met this beautiful Indian girl. We talked for a long time, etc, etc. And if she didn't look great enough, she was in Medical School and an actress. See, I saw she was attractive, talked to her, and things went from there. That's how I operate. Yes some races are higher on my list (preference wise), but that doesn't mean others aren't on my list. That is a matter of preference, and not a matter of disregard. See, it comes down to the battle between stereotypes and individuality - a long conversation I'm not going to get into right now. I'm against sterotypes, though I am guilty of them from time to time. If I were to totally disregard someone (not consider them at all) because of their race, then that is ignorance. So the moral of this story (my side of the argument) is - don't confuse preference with disregard. I guess I'll have to talk more about Crash another night. That's a great movie.

Comments on this are appreciated - yes, that means you.

~JL

Just in the Family

I have a cousin in England doing big things. Her name is Corinne and her album is going to be tight. Check out her site here http://www.corinnebaileyrae.net/

I've only met her a few times. I've seen her every time I've been to Engalnd. But I don't think she has been here yet. To say in the least, I'm proud of her, and its nice to have a celebrity cousin.

The times I've been over to England, I realize how important it is to know, or at least try and get to know family as much as possible. I'm fortunate enough to have a very extensive family, but geography keeps us fairly separate. I have another cousin (Corinne's sister) who is an actress, and my age. We relate pretty well, but unfortunately, we're on two different sides of the world. So I made a point the last time I was there to spend time with as much family as I could, and I'm sure I only got to half in the 2 months I was there.

Go to the site, listen to the few snippets, judge for yourself... but she's made a big following for herself overseas, and hopefully at some point, she will over here too.

Just Pay Me

Online banking is the truth. (Depends what bank you have). I won't say what bank I use, BUT it has the best online banking I've ever seen (haven't seen any others though). I pay bills or people electronically, and the bank sends them the check. NO WORK. Just how I like it.

I have to mention this new program. I think its a great idea. Any purchase made on your debit card is rounded up to the nearest dollar. The rounded difference is then transferred to your savings account. That way, you're saving without even thinking about it. AND if that's not good enough, they are matching your contributions for the 1st 3 months, and every year they will contribute an extra 5% of your contributions to your savings. FREE MONEY. Can't say what bank it is, otherwise you'd think I worked for them.

I haven't blogged in two days, because I'm trying to make this thing a bit more relevant to events that actually happen to me throughout the day, or something that makes me think about something else. Just to step up the personal side of it a little, while still keeping it interesting (I hope). I don't know if its at all interesting the way it is. Be sure to leave me comments. That way I can get feedback, other thoughts/opinions, or at least find out who is reading this thing.

~JL

Just Motivated

I'm listening to "Glow" by Kelis... you should be too.

I realized how much more motivated I am when I have a solid goal in place. Over the past semester, I knew I wanted a job, but I didn't know what I wanted to do. Of course that makes things a little more difficult. But once you know what you want to do (I know that's easier said than done) or at least once you know what the next step is for you, then the motivation is instantly there.

Sophomore year of high school, my english teacher said we all needed to write down our goals and steps on how we were going to achieve them. It was just homework at the time, so I wrote down a few things that looked good (story of high school). On the real though, I wrote down MIT, and to be a Westinghouse scholar, (hmmmm, sounds like Made in America). Neither of those happened, BUT my college is ARGUABLY (and I'm not here to argue, but I will) as good if not better than MIT. It just isn't as well known, and is much smaller. Anyway, now I see that goals mean everything because without them, well you know, the whole ship without a sail thing.

If you need motivation just to start doing work, Crime Mob - "Knuck if you Buck" works pretty well.

~JL

Oh, a concerned reader says I've been using "weary" when I mean to say "wary." Well, while I strive for perfection, if I were perfect, I would probably have nothing to write about... hmmmmmmmm.

Just a Kid at Heart

A few stories to share with you. Now, I don't read as much as I should... being forced to read books throughout school that I had absolutely no interest in has affected every book I pick up. The enjoyment isn't there like it used to be. So now, when asked what my favorite books are, I undoubtedly respond by naming the last books I read cover to cover with enthusiam, and enjoyment. They are the entire series of the Chronicles of Narnia.

5 years ago, I had a college interview for NJIT, where I was in a small room with the President of their Honor's college. Application and details aside, I was accepted during that meeting, and he said, "Before you leave, I must ask you, because I ask everyone, what was your favorite book?" Me being a person who does not have a varied history with reading, I almost hesitated, but quickly depended on the same books that to this day I will support and advertise, The Chronicles of Narnia. He said, "Good answer, C.S. Lewis was a very spiritual man, and when you get a chance you should read some of his other work."

My parents used to take me to church every Sunday, so I grew up with somewhat of an extended family, with friends that I still have today. However, the church I went to in particular went downhill for me. I barely went at all while I was in college, and once my family moved, it just didn't seem practical to make that journey. However, we found a church very nearby to where my family moved, and at first I was weary, but I know some people can relate to me on this... the pastor is very good and on some Sundays, it just seems like the sermon was just for you. It doesn't happen every week, but when it does, its very refreshing and motivating. Today, he must have been talking to me, because he mentioned Narnia, and the movie, and of course it related to the sermon, but I just took it as confirmation that yes, the message today is indeed for me.

For you though, I will just share my excitement about these movies coming out. They look like they were done very well, and from the preview, the most exciting thing for me is, it looks almost exactly how I imagined it while I was reading. These books are surprisingly descriptive, and what makes them different than other books for me is that they are the only ones where I did not see the words in front of me in black and white... as I was reading, all I saw in my mind were images, almost to the point where I could forget I was reading. Its nice when parts of your childhood can come to the forefront. To this day I remember when my mom started reading me The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and once that was done, I read the rest of the series from there on my own. 22 Years young now and don't get it twisted, I will push kids out of the way to get into that theater (kinda helps to look young yourself). I guess I'm just a kid at heart.

Just Under the Weather

I've been sick the past few days. I still feel pretty bad. Kinda achy and just can't shake it. Hopefully it doesn't last too long. Today I want to talk about problems and decisions that come up from time to time.

A favorite artist of mine is Lauryn Hill because of her Unplugged Album. I know, people say she went crazy etc, and I can see why they would say that, but she seems very sane to me, and a lot of what she is saying is deep. To me, that album has a different message everytime I listen to it (like right now). "The view is I'm emotionally unstable, which is reality, most people are." - Lauryn Hill. She has a point. We all like to either cover up our emotions, or try not to let things get to us, but then don't you become a prisoner to your emotions? Where is the freedom in that? The last quote from her that I'll leave you with in regard to problems is, "the only way to get out is through confrontation, see, we always thought it was retreat..." If you get the chance listen to the album, and I mean let it run all the way through, then maybe you'll see what I mean, and its especially good when there is something difficult going on in life.

I have no problem being personal, especially in this blog. People reading it who know me are friends anyway, and I make sure to keep identities discrete. So, I will say, that a rough time for me was a few years ago, when a relationship went south. I took it so hard, because I know I didn't deserve it, but for the most part, I was just feeling sorry for myself. There were other things in a much bigger picture, that I not only had no control over, but that didn't concern me at all. I just could not be involved, even though I wanted to be. To this day, I don't know exactly what happened, but I do know that that pain is shared by many, which is why I'm so into music. There is someone talking about whatever problem you may be having, which lets you know that you aren't the only one. If they could get through it so can you. For the most part though, after my rough time, I know everything happens for a reason, and perhaps what I thought was my loss, is actually a gain in a different respect... and perhaps a gain I have not seen or realized yet. Perhaps that is how people should look at things. In this case:

The loss: A Love
The gain: Knowing what Love is

(It takes a real man to say the L word. Ladies, now you know where to look.)

~JL

Just Stay in School

I have to admit I started this blog because of the stellar blogging talent of Miss SQ herself. I have no idea what to talk about today, so I'm just going to let it flow. I visited my old high school earlier today, and they are doing BIG things. More buildings are going up, some of my old teachers have moved up in the chain, even some of my classmates are working there. I went to a school that was HEAVY in technology. We're talking some better facilities than some colleges (yes, better than the college I went to) as far as computers go. The talent there is amazing, the competition to get in is toughest in the state, and its probably one of the highest rank schools (if not the highest) in NJ. In short, I'm pretty proud, and I realized today that I like being there. That may be weird, since I don't know too many people that enjoy being back at their high school, BUT, understand I'm a technology person, and there are only 3 places I know that get the best technology: Investment Banks, Big Computer/Engineering firms (Dell, HP, etc..) and my high school. Since 2 of the 3 haven't taken me yet, maybe I can have more of an impact working in education. No, not a big career change, just as a substitute teacher there until I get the big job, or as I build the business. It pays well, and I get to gain more experience with their technology, since they have a good 400+ computers on campus. Yes, I will be spending some time there.

Everybody Hates Chris came on tonight. That is a great show. If its one thing I like about TV, at least it gives you something to look forward to during the week, (if you REALLY like the show). At some point, that's sad, but I tihnk its alright as long as you don't look forward to watching 20 shows. Other shows for me include Making the Band 3, and the Real World. And of course 24 when the season starts. That show is like crack, and I wouldn't even know, but it must be the closest thing to it. If you don't want to get addicted, then don't watch it. If you give it 10 minutes, you might as well clear your calendar for the rest of the season.

I think that's enough for now. Maybe later I'll have something more important to talk about.

~JL

Just NSBE

Its been over a week since the last entry. Time flies cause it definitely hasn't felt that long. Since my last entry, I had some family come in from England and it rained, and rained, and rained. I'm not saying its their fault, because they suffered more than we did (they're on vacation)... BUT of course everyone in my family said, "You brought the bad weather with you." And the thing with my fam is, that is OLD. They say it to EVERY relative that comes from overseas no matter how the weather is. If they are half as tired of hearing about it as I am, then I hope they find the strength to come back...

Yesterday, I went to a NSBE (National Society of Black Engineers) Conference. I learned a great deal (as always) and for once it was nice being on the experience side (and not in the planning). The problem I'm going to talk about today is children and education. Mr. Carl Mack is right, we NEED to stimulate children earlier. Tutoring high school students is good, but what can we do for those that are already too far gone. I remember what got me into engineering... this place my parents used to take me to in NY. I know AT&T had something to do with it, but I can't find the place online now. Anyway, the technology back then was nothing, but they would type your name in, and give you this little swipe card. Everywhere you swiped the card, you would see your name. Your name would follow you down the stairs, and robots would build your name out of blocks. For me, that was the coolest thing in the world. We may need to step the game up to impress the children these days BUT, it can be done. Building more of these centers will stimulate young minds, and solve America's problem of lower science, math and technology enrollment.

As Carl Mack said, we need to have 3 week summer conferences with students in Middle School, not one day conferences with high-school students. We need to get the children earlier. Its easy to forget Calculus, but once you know how to read, you aren't going to forget. Exposure and stimulation is better than sitting and being lectured. The technology center needs to be on the level of Great Adventure. We don't want to bore people with facts or how stuff works (those will still be there though), we just want them to know that if they to be a PART of it all, engineering is the field to be in. Reminds me of the Liberty Science Center, except this will be corporately funded, and the companies will be able to show off their emerging technologies. Bottom line, we need to save our people, minorities. Stimulate them early, give them exposure that they may not be able to afford otherwise, and let them know that there is a place for them in technology. Someone had the great idea and did that for me. I think NSBE's name should be on this.

Just Call Me

Got a new phone today. Not letting the man (aka big name companies) get the best of me. Cingular tried to screw AT&T customers, which includes me. I'm not having it. I have an imported unlocked phone that will work with Cingular/AT&T & T-Mobile. Being that I am out of contract, I can switch at will. If anyone else wants to enjoy this freedom, let me know and I'll explain the process.

Just Do It

Yeah, it doesn't take long to get over not being wanted. Its time to stop being all talk and actually do something. Time to start writing a business plan, and setting things in action with the following considerations:

1. I have no money, so its best to start the business utilizing skills I already have, without the need for startup investment (always the best thing to do).

2. Get all the right people in your corner. Among friends, you know who the best are at what they do. If they are good at it, chances are they enjoy doing it. Which means at first they would have to do it on the side, for little money, but that's cool as long as the have a stake in the business (give them a percentage of all revenue based on the relative value of their work contributions).

3. Be weary of using friends. You just need to go after talent.

4. This business in particular needs to eventually run itself - meaning I will do work at first, but eventually find a replacement willing to do the same things for a little less, since they didn't need to build the client base - guess who keeps the extra money.

My plan, since hiring companies don't want me now, is to develop the business for a few years. Then I'll have ample skills to work for another company. By that time though, I will be accustomed to the business income, and will be living off of that. So, the new salary can and will go completely into savings. (A lofty goal, but definitely possible). Then, guess what, it will be time for Business School (if I feel I still want to go)...

So that's the master plan. Time for the business plan. (something I haven't quite thought of as much yet...)

Just Disappointed

Received another no today. Frustrated isn't the word. How can EVERYWHERE want you to have experience, yet not be willing to give someone the opportunity to gain some? Well, its their loss, but it doesn't help me at all either.

Kinda hard to stay positive with an inbox full of negativity.

So what now? A girl once said to me, "Justin, that's a good idea, you should do it," and as simple as it was, it stood out, because that was support... and I had never received that before from someone besides fam. It made me understand another important aspect of relationships. Why that girl in particular won't get back to me, I'll never know... BUT the lesson learned is, whether you have someone to tell you the words or not, you just need the confidence to go and start something on your own. I guess I'd just rather have the choice to, instead of feeling forced to. But then again, how many people choose to go the uncomfortable route, especially when they have a salary???

Just Business

I've learned more out of school than I have in the past year. School can't teach you about life and how things work. I don't know why some companies take 2 months to say no, while others don't get back to you at all. It's all good, just means those companies in particular weren't meant to be... but if I really wanted one, I'd keep trying for it. So what's my focus? Well, I've found a niche, so business holds me down while I try and reach for a salary. Question of the week - Do I make the business grow, or keep striving for that salary?

Here are a few things I've learned so far. I do consulting for small businesses in the area, and I see that whether you're in business for yourself, or working for someone else, its so easy to fall into the trap. If you make $50,000 a year and spend $50,000 a year, you've made nothing. So if you're working to maintain a status - car, house or rent, other loans, and you lose your job... how are those bills going to get paid? (Some of this may sound like "Rich Dad Poor Dad." If it does, I haven't read it, but I've had a lot of people tell me about it). Answer, you need to set up a separate source of income for yourself that is enough to get you by in rough times. Savings can do that too, but income is always better than savings. That way, if you want to go back to school, or change careers, you can do that.

So for me, I know I have a business I can fall back on, but its not enough right now... I can make it grow, but part of me wants a 9-5 and a paycheck, so I can gain experience and save in the meantime. The other trap I'm trying to avoid is getting so deep into business that I can't get out.

Recap
1. set up a separate source of income
2. if you start a business, do it with the intent of phasing yourself out, and develop a model so that you can always generate income from it

Your day job should be fun, something you enjoy waking up to do, because ideally, your separate source of income will always be enough, or more than enough for you to live off of.

So for me, (and as I write, things become clearer - hence the reason for the blog/journal), the best course of action is to build the business, phase myself out, then find a job. Its scary though, because its not the normal thing to do since after school is either grad school or work.